1. In the Beta, there was the DK and the DK was with the Gods and the DK was the Gods. The DK became into Live and dwelt amoung us and we have seen its glory, glory as of the only Son from the Gods, the creators – full of nerfs and bugs – the Messiah for the unskilled. The Messiah, when becoming of the age of level 80, set forth to meet the one that was also considered the Messiah. The Ret met with the Messiah and said:” Truly you art the one of the Gods. I anoint thee with Blessings of Might and will follow you.” The Messiah then stated:” To follow me, you must be willing to give up the world and your spec.” The Ret fell to his knees and said: “You truly are the Son of the Gods. I will respect Holy and follow you.” So forth, all disciples that follow the Messiah became Holy. 2. Upon gathering his disciples, the classes approached the Messiah and asked: “Who art thou who says thy is the Son of the Gods?” The Messiah spoketh and said: “Gaze upon my spec and gear, lookth at the skill of my followers, I am of the lowest, yet, blessed from my Fathers to be the Highest. I am the prophesied one that has all the abilities of all the classes.” The class trembled at His sight and fell to their knees. They said “Teach us of the new ways.”
And the Messiah spoketh to the masses at the Crossroads:
“Verily I say unto thee, the blessed be the skill-less for they are the most high”
“Blessed be the faceroll for they are the most loved”
“Blessed be casual for they are the most deserved of loot, gold, blue posts”
“Verily I tell ye the truth: It is easier for an unskilled faceroller to gain 2300 rating than a skilled man.”
“Treat your Ally as you would treat your Horde for the war is over and only Arena matters”
“Bringth the player not the class. Now you can’t blame just one noob for a wipe since 1/3 of your raid is Ret.”
“For the Gods ever so loved the casuals that They gave there only begotten Son and those who play Him shall not parish but live eternal life immune from nerf, granted instant 2k ratings, and have unbelievable CC, forever and ever.”
Then out of the crowd, a Balance Druid appeared and said:
“If you are the Messiah, then tell us how to pray to the gods”
The Messiah said:
“This is how you pray to our gods:
Our Blizzard, who art in California, hallowed be thy title
Thy patch thy come, thy will be done, on the Live as it is in the PTR
Give us today our daily quest, and forgive us for our wipes,
for we forgive the bugs you did not fix
Leads us not into balance, but delivers us from FotM OP Classes
For thine is the Hearth, the Pwn, and the Loot, from season to season,
Amen”
As the Messiah spoke, the Gods were happy and send a Gladiator Frostwrym to his side to show their favor for their Son.
3. The Messiah left the class for Orgimmar. Upon the way, he saw a hunter being ganked by a rogue. The Messiah rebuked the rogue and said to the hunter. “Why are thy wounded?” The hunter stated “Because my skill is low and I am terribad. It is my class, not me.” The Messiah said “Do you have faith in your Father that if you re-rolled DK that you would be both skilled and talented?” The hunter said yes, fell to his knees, and followed the Messiah. Next, the Messiah found a shaman running afraid from a warlock. The Messiah silenced the warlock, plagued him diseases, and then rose the dead to cast the warlock into the Abyss. The Messiah said to the shaman “Fear not, for I am with you.” The shaman said, “If I could only touch a piece of your gear, I would certainly be skilled.” The Messiah turned to His raid group and said “This is faith in the Fathers and Their only Son and this is who deserves to be skilled. Follow me shaman and you will forever have eternal life.” The shaman did and did not Fear again.
4. Upon coming into Orgrimmar, the Messiah stopped in a small outpost. The raid party dismounted and began the night worship of the Messiah and the conversion of the ignorant. At the dinner, the Messiah said: “This is my skill – the skill of a faceroll class. This is my talent tree – the talent tree of the skilled. Take these and you will be forever skilled and have a rightful place in the 2k Arena rankings. Verily I say unto you there is a traitor among us.” Many gasp and said “Who would do such a thing?” The Messiah looked at the Warlock and said “Do what you must do.” The Warlock left and the worship continued.
5. The day of the arena began in Org. The arena began and the Messiah said to the Gods: “This cup is too heavy, please pass it from me because I am unskilled.” Then a 2v2 team appeared to the Messiah and the Warlock walked to Him and DoT’d Him on the cheek. The 2v2 team took the Messiah and scourged Him. “Why have you forsaken me my Father?” He screamed unto the forums. The Gods heard the plea of their only Son and saved Him. The Gods approached the Warlock and said:
“We see your transgressions against our Son. Your seeds were planted and you tried to farm the lands of the DK. Your punishment is now you will never DoT again, you will never Fear again, you will become what you despise the most – a Fire Mage. All the tribes will make you a free HK and your QQ will be answered with: after vanilla and TBC, you deserve to be weak.”
And so it was. The Warlock was verily stunned, plagued with disease, CC'd, and Fear breaking after 1 tick. The Warlock is now the class of abomination and hate for they are broken beyond repair. They are from the tribe of Fail and are call Faillocks.
5. The Salvation of the World lies in conversation to this new religion. Follow and become skilled. Lo, this is the true testament of our Lord and Savior, the Messiah, the only Son of the God, -- the DK. Go forth an tell all that has not heard of this Good News of this message that our Lord is here!
Взято с оффорума.
